Life as we know it is hard...... Kenyan life infact. Hustle for cash, hustle for credit, hustle for anything you think will help u get through........... But all in all, any struggling and hardworking Kenyan finds themselves laughing their hearts out in the middle of the nerve wrecking struggle.
It might be the bodaboda guy scared out of his seat by the unexpected blare of a matatu or the lady dressed up for a date only to trip in the mud and have a 'beautiful' tie and dye outfit. It might be the makanga who decides to greet and bid goodbye to every passenger who bodes his matatu or the funny musings and questions from your neighbor's kid. (Most times they are annoying.....)
Anyway, mine comes from the many forwarded texts i get from loved ones, friends and family. Some of them just crack me up and i count them as blessings. Talking about them, I have just received one as I write. Kenyans have perfected this art with some being very artistic. Some of them.............
1.) A wife is like a TV and a girlfriend like a phone. At home, you watch TV but when you go out, you take your phone. When you have no money, you sell your TV and when you get the money, you charge your phone. Sometimes you enjoy TV but most of the time you play with your phone. a TV is big and bulky but a phone is slim and curvy. The list goes on but most importantly, TVs do not get viruses! True
2.) The Kalenjin version of the cartoon 'Ed, Edd n Eddy' is Kip, Kipchir n Kipchirchir. I lack words to comment on this.
3.) Good news. Promotion in heaven. Die now and get into heaven without judgement. Offer runs til 10pm tonight. Hurry while offer lasts. Pass on to other sinners like you. Be careful who you send this to. A case of attempted suicide was reported in the newspapers after someone got this.
4.) Dear friend, we have come a long way and i really appreciate you. I have been nominated in the category of best friends in the upcoming Chaguo la Teeniez awards. TO vote for me, kindly dial *140*50*072*******#. Please note this sms is toll free. Please forward to your other pals to give me a higher chance. Thanks. Woe unto you if you do not confirm the categories for the awards. You will the best provider of free airtime.
5.) Kenyans have classified sex mates in different mobile service categories:-
Malaya ni prepaid,
Girlfriend ni postpaid,
Wife ni unlimited,
Mboch ni bonga points,
Workmate ni please call me,
Jirani ni okoa Jahazi and
Sugar mummies ni feelanga free.......... this just puts a smile on my face.
6.) How to know if you are normal
1. you have a facebook account
2. you have a blackberry
3. you watch MTV
4. you are fully aware of adult stuff
6. you register to unlimited texts
7. you sleep late
9. you were so busy you forgot to read number 5
10. you actually scroll up again to see if there is no. 5
(don't worry there is no number 8 as well.)
11. now you are smiling possibly laughing to yourself.
Then you realize, perhaps you are not as normal as you once thought.
Pass this on and make everyone laugh. Seriously, i did laugh at myself because I went back to check no. 5 and i do not have a facebook account...........
7.) , / / / ,
( . . )
_ / \_
Unakumbuka hii picha yako ya utotoni, uliniambia nikuwekee? Chukua tu. Me inanichekesha sana...... ( DO you remember this baby photo of you that you told me to keep for you? Just take it because i can't stop laughing.)..............This is really funny stupid. If there's anything like that.
All in all, these just summarises the fact that Kenyans never tire of coming up with creative texts to send. Forward them to those you love and make someone smile today despite the hardships they may be facing.......... :-)