Friday, 1 May 2015

Violence is not of love

""The worst regret we have in life is not the wrong things we did, but for the thousands of the right things we did for the wrong people."

I have just seen this post on my Facebook account and I resonate with it so much as I am living this day in, day out. I don't know how I can start to explain how crushing it is to end a relationship even when it was just not going forward. I hate it when I have to put a stop to something that was once good and later on went to bad and worse and worst in an instance.

I am not a perfect and yes, I am stubborn, at times bossy and strong- headed (if there's a word like that). I will speak out when I see him doing something wrong, I will pout when I just don't feel like talking to him, I will go from angry to somehow smiling to laughing my ass off in a split second. I am hard at times to understand and I will change my mind twice or thrice, faster than Cookie can slap her son(Hakeem).... yeah, I just had to use that example. I will always say "I'm fine" even when I want him to just ask what the hell is wrong with me.

Every girl, woman, sister or aunt will be like this but even when I make these mistakes that will anger him, I don't expect him to lay a finger on me. I don't expect to join the growing number of statistics about violence in relationships and marriages. I don't expect to be threatened. I don't expect to have a black eye as though I got hit by a runaway bus. I don't expect to carry scars on my body to forever remind me of the stupid decision I made. I don't expect to keep crying for having fallen in love with his charm, only for him to later show me his true colors.

I don't expect to sit in silence for fear of ridicule and reprimand, from family and friends, for having loved him. He hit me and I hit back. There was no way I would just sit and wait to be killed as I watched. I defended myself and even made my point. That I was no weakling."

Just as the poem in the picture above says, the cycle never stops and once it starts, it goes on as long as the two parties may want to end it. No man/woman ever gets into a relationship or marriage expecting any form of abuse. No one expects or wishes the worst for themselves but at times we have no control over a person's emotions or reactions in any situation. We can only control ourselves. We can only do whats best for ourselves and for the relationship.

Walk away from it. It may hurt, it may feel like you will never love again. You may feel like you are a victim. You are not. You are a lesson, to yourself and to others in your situation. That despite all that happens, you can rise up and walk again. You can get up and love again. You can love yourself for the next person you meet. Do not despair because you are still alive to learn from your mistakes.
Violence is not of love but respect, trust, truth honesty and faithfulness is.