NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT LOVER

Your partner is not perfect, neither are you. 

If your partner was perfect, your partner won't need you; our inadequacies and want make us need each other.

Your partner has weaknesses because love is strength.

Your partner has flaws because love improves.

Your partner has shortcomings because love goes the distance.

Your partner will make mistakes because love corrects and in finding solutions two people become closer.

Too often we look for the end result, we look for perfection, a perfect partner. But love is actually walking with that imperfect partner to the desired end result. If your partner was fully established there would be nothing to build as a couple. Don't look at your partner's imperfections as excuses not to love, but as reasons to love, reasons to be of impact and use. 

Love makes us better, and as you make your partner better, as you refuse to give up on your partner but patiently understand your partner and see love as a continual process to become more; you will notice that even you are becoming a better person - Even you are not perfect, even you have areas that need improvement and you need someone to improve with you, you need someone to improve you.

Stop searching for a partner who is perfect, yet you are not perfect. Even your current greatest areas of success still have room for improvement, as long as you breathe, there's more ahead. Chances to grow.

Instead, search for someone who needs you and will keep needing you, someone who will keep you because you add value, someone who will say, "I am not letting you go because you make me better and I make you better." 

Love is when two imperfect people grow together!

by Dayan Masinde

Am I made for loving you?

That time when you find that exact song that describes your current mood...

Listen to it....

Sigh!

and your life goes on.

"I Was Made For Loving You"
(feat. Ed Sheeran)

[Tori Kelly:]
A dangerous plan, just this time
A stranger's hand clutched in mine
I'll take this chance, so call me blind
I've been waiting all my life
Please don't scar this young heart
Just take my hand

[Chorus - Tori Kelly:]
I was made for loving you
Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through
Every bone screaming I don't know what we should do
All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you

[Ed Sheeran:]
Hold me close through the night
Don't let me go, we'll be alright
Touch my soul and hold it tight
I've been waiting all my life
I won't scar your young heart
Just take my hand

[Chorus - Tori Kelly & Ed Sheeran:]
Cause I was made for loving you
Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through
Every bone screaming I don't know what we should do
All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you

Please don't go, I've been waiting so long
Oh, you don't even know me at all
But I was made for loving you

[Chorus - Tori Kelly & Ed Sheeran:]
I was made for loving you
Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through
Every bone screaming I don't know what we should do
All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you

Here's the song...

Something unique for your big day

It's that time when age is catching up with you and you are still searching.... Yap! I'm there. It starts growing on you when all these hints keep flashing across your face or screens. Somehow good or bad, I am in the event decor business so being part and parcel of weddings is more of a monthly thing. Creating those precious memories for brides and grooms is no easy job, but someone has to do it.

At times we get to sit for the whole ceremony and that is when the reality hits you that you should walk down the aisle some time in the future. At times I'm grateful for no drama while dating but then just having someone to bug you daily or just be cheeky and goofy with is enough to take away a day's stresses. I know you're wondering if I'm now getting all sad about not being in a relationship but there's a point to it.

On my usual Facebook scroll (not much to read on FB), I stumbled upon some video and the link was just all too enticing to ignore. We all know the usual Kenyan wedding program during the reception...

Guests (invited and uninvited) arrive and have their food- at times the food isn't enough.

Entertainment goes on as some MC mumbles on some instructions- some poorly crafted jokes.

Bride and groom arrive and dancing with guests- usual wedding songs and dance styles.

Bridal party seat at the 'high table' (do they smoke weed here?)...

Entertainment goes on- usual Kayamba groups perform, some 'upcoming' unknown singer too.

Unsolicited speeches from those shoshos you never knew existed...

Gift Practicals- by this I mean the bride demonstrating how she will cook/ carry a kiondo. some have even had to show how they will lie on their matrimonial bed... PG13...

Bouquet toss- this is where all the madness begins.

Procedure:

1. The DJ puts the usual Beyonce song... All the single ladies... 

2. The brave ones step up and get ready for the toss. 

3. Remove your heels.

4. Try and foresee the best direction the bouquet will go.

5. Look for the light weight girl than you can easily push out of your way.

The bride then tosses the bouquet and the scramble and partition for the flowers begins. That lady you saw gracefully arrive, is now fighting for those few stems. It starts reminding you of a scene on National Geographic or Discovery channel as lions fight for a piece of flesh from the fresh catch. Weeeeeellllll...... It's about time that we changed the routine. 

It might be your big day but doing something unexpected as in the video below goes a long way to show love and friendship.

It's a video about some bride... yeah! That's too vague. What this bride does during her bouquet toss is what amazes me. Enjoy and brides- to- be, do take a hint.

Violence is not of love

""The worst regret we have in life is not the wrong things we did, but for the thousands of the right things we did for the wrong people."

I have just seen this post on my Facebook account and I resonate with it so much as I am living this day in, day out. I don't know how I can start to explain how crushing it is to end a relationship even when it was just not going forward. I hate it when I have to put a stop to something that was once good and later on went to bad and worse and worst in an instance.

I am not a perfect and yes, I am stubborn, at times bossy and strong- headed (if there's a word like that). I will speak out when I see him doing something wrong, I will pout when I just don't feel like talking to him, I will go from angry to somehow smiling to laughing my ass off in a split second. I am hard at times to understand and I will change my mind twice or thrice, faster than Cookie can slap her son(Hakeem).... yeah, I just had to use that example. I will always say "I'm fine" even when I want him to just ask what the hell is wrong with me.

Every girl, woman, sister or aunt will be like this but even when I make these mistakes that will anger him, I don't expect him to lay a finger on me. I don't expect to join the growing number of statistics about violence in relationships and marriages. I don't expect to be threatened. I don't expect to have a black eye as though I got hit by a runaway bus. I don't expect to carry scars on my body to forever remind me of the stupid decision I made. I don't expect to keep crying for having fallen in love with his charm, only for him to later show me his true colors.

I don't expect to sit in silence for fear of ridicule and reprimand, from family and friends, for having loved him. He hit me and I hit back. There was no way I would just sit and wait to be killed as I watched. I defended myself and even made my point. That I was no weakling."

Just as the poem in the picture above says, the cycle never stops and once it starts, it goes on as long as the two parties may want to end it. No man/woman ever gets into a relationship or marriage expecting any form of abuse. No one expects or wishes the worst for themselves but at times we have no control over a person's emotions or reactions in any situation. We can only control ourselves. We can only do whats best for ourselves and for the relationship.

Walk away from it. It may hurt, it may feel like you will never love again. You may feel like you are a victim. You are not. You are a lesson, to yourself and to others in your situation. That despite all that happens, you can rise up and walk again. You can get up and love again. You can love yourself for the next person you meet. Do not despair because you are still alive to learn from your mistakes.
Violence is not of love but respect, trust, truth honesty and faithfulness is.