The way she talked about her ex

It was a beautiful date

The gentle breeze, made her scarf gently blow

It was time for him to ask that question

That question many women dread

"Tell me about your ex" 

The man asked the woman he is getting to know

She gave a giggle, then looked down

Will she be evasive like other women?

She opened up about her past relationships

Four of them in number

She mentioned the names of those four men

And how long she dated them

She was clear about why the relationships ended

The first man cheated on her

The second used to beat her up and drink too much

The third, well, he just dumped her

The fourth was the most painful

He hid the fact that he had a child with another woman

Then he cheated on her

And got another woman pregnant

Her scarf fell to the floor

This man on a date with her stood up

Knelt and picked up the fallen scarf

As he placed the scarf around her neck, he was sure

He was sure this is the woman he wants to grow to love

Because this woman, is honest

She trusts him with her dark past

So many women feel an ex is a no go topic

He was so sure about her

Because in as much as those four men hurt her

There was no anger or bitterness in her

She was so graceful and optimistic about love, a sign of true healing

He was so sure about her

Because there was no hate

Though those four men wasted her time, she had moved on

Often, women carry hate and suspicion from the previous relationship into a new relationship

He was so sure about her

Because she owned up to her mistakes

She didn't lay blame on the four men only

She can critic herself, such a woman is wise

He was so sure about her

Because she made it clear to him

That this new man better treat her right, or else she'll walk away

She knows her worth and won't put up with crap

But above all, he was so sure about her

Because she admitted that her past four relationships did not work out 

Since God was not in them

This new man's love for God, is what attracted her to him

So this new man knelt near her

He said, "Like your scarf that fell

I will catch you when you fall in love with me

For I have already fallen in love with you"

She kissed his forehead and said

"I am already in your hands, I have fallen for you too

Now that you know my past

Please build with me our bright and Godly future"

POEM BY DAYAN MASINDE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
TO 
MY ONLY SISTER!!!!!!
( Yes! Our birthdays are 5 days apart but a 3 year difference.)

Fall in love with my best friend

The best relationships and marriages happen when the two people in it are best friends.

1. A best friend is loyal, so there will be no issues of unfaithfulness. No one betrays a true best friend no matter how tough things get, no matter what anyone else has to offer.

2. A best friend knows your good and bad and still loves you. You need to be loved for who you are while you still live on Earth.

3. A best friend will never bore you. In fact, you two will look forward to spending time together. There will be no need to beg for attention, or coming home late or avoiding you. You are so used to and dependent on each other's company.

4. A best friend will have your back and look out for you. You are in safe hands.

5. A best friend will still value you when sex is not the agenda. He/she is not in it merely for sex but companionship.

6. A best friend will treat you as an equal. There will be no battle of the genders or issues of a man's role versus a woman's role. There will be mutual respect between man and woman.

7. A best friend will stay with you because he/she needs you and knows you need him/her.

8. A best friend will be comfortable to do silly things with you, laugh with you, be free with you, be a clown with you; no pretending. You need laughter in love.

9. A best friend will be honest with you, no sugar coating, no secrets. He or she will tell you the truth whether it's hard to accept or not, he or she will confront you without beating around the bush. Honesty makes love real and makes it grow.

10. A best friend will make you the priority, no other human will come between you two. You will not need to run to another or feel you can open up to another better than you open up to your spouse.

11. A best friend will be more interested with the the function of friendship than the title of husband or wife. A title is easy to take away, but a true best friend bond is hard to destroy. He/she will hold on to you through the storms, the title is a matter of formality. Because he functions well as a best friend, he will make a great husband; because she functions well as a best friend; she will make a great wife.

12. A best friend ends up being the best spouse in bed. The sweetest love making happens when there is closeness outside the bed. A best friend will know everything about you, including your body, your heart beat, your mood, your eyes, your reasons.

13. A best friend is at the top of the hierarchy of all your friends. Your friends will surround and support you two. You will not need to worry about your friends stealing your spouse or interfering when you two are firmly placed at the top.

14. A best friend will make loving easy. No rules, no boundaries, no complications, no rigidness. This is the person who knows you better than anyone else, no walls between you two.

15. A best friend is hard to leave because no one knows you and understands you better, this is as good as it gets.

If you both leave each other, where will you go when the best is when you two are best friends married to each other?

by DAYAN MASINDE



PS: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!! Happy birthday to me....

Had most certainly looked forward to it because of the individuals who have been with me all throughout last year. Specifically, one psycho and weirdo above! We're in this together.

What do you look for in man?

"Thank you" she said

"For what?" I asked

"For bringing me here for a walk.

It's a really nice place"

"I'm glad to share the walk with you" I gave back.

"Please allow me to say again you look lovely."

I was finally sharing time with her

This warm-smiled lady granted me a date.

"So, what do you look for in a man?" I asked

She giggled. "Correction, I don't look for a man.

The man should find me in my beauty state"

"OK...so, what qualities would you want in a man?" I rephrased

"Well, I'd like him to be passionate about what he does,

Forward looking with engaging conversations,

A listener, speaks his mind, captivating, funny, fun.

I want him to water me with wise words and affection.

I would love if he cares to find me out,

Interested in my thoughts, my opinions.

A man who dines at the table of the Lord yet also romantic.

I want someone mature to build a future with.

Someone who attracts me spiritually, emotionally and physically

With a strong yet gentle heart,

Who takes notes when love is teaching a lesson.

And a man who will give me room and let me love him"

"Wow!!! I see you smiling just giving the answer

I bet you'll make a wonderful wife." I gave my thoughts.

"Thank you, I know I will, all I need is the right man.

What about you? What do you look for in a woman?"

I stopped walking, paused the walk, eyes on her,

"I look for you." I said

"I have found you and I want to make us work.

I am hoping you see in me the man you have described."

POEM BY DAYAN MASINDE

A SINGLE LADY'S PRAYER

She prayed to God saying,

 "Dear lord, bring me a man who loves You like I do.

A man whose heart will not be just after mine,

But ultimately yours. 

Bring me a man who You have been teaching wisdom, 

A man who has been allowing You

To work with him and in him 

As You have been doing with me and in me...

He will have a different testimony than mine

but we will share our faith in You.

Bring me a man who will understand

when I say how good You are my God.

A man that I will worship you together with...

A man who values sex and sees it as something special,

A man who respects the idea of man and woman,

The idea of marriage that You created...

A man who will correct me when I am wrong

and who will let me correct him when he is off.

A man who will encourage me, strengthen me, inspire me

and I in return....

A man who besides using the strength You have given him

will turn to You because You are his anchor and refuge...

A man who will pray for me and with me...

Send me a man whose love will extend beyond him and I.

He will be good to his and my family,

Good to friends, good to strangers...

A man who will turn to You, his Heavenly Father

To teach him fatherhood...

He won't be unfaithful to me,

just as he won't be unfaithful to You.

His loving me will be to Your glory and honor...

A man who I join in Your will to provide...

A man who will be patient with me

But also challenge me to grow...

A man who when I look at and think of

He will remind me of You

Because he is Your gift to me and I to him. 

And as we walk years in love,

Let it be a journey of three-

You at the center holding our hands,

Leading us, nurturing us, teaching us!"

BY DAYAN MASINDE.

A SINGLE MAN'S PRAYER

You know what I'm about to do

God, tomorrow I ask her to be mine

But before I do, I make a request

Teach me how to pray

Teach me how to pray for her

For out of all the women You created

None appeals to me like she does

Teach me how to pray for her

Teach me how to talk to her

And how to listen

Teach me the words to speak

That my love for her may always be at its peak

Teach me to understand

Whenever she cancels a date

Teach me how to smile and make her smile

When life's trials bullies and forces through her gate

Teach me how to ask for forgiveness

Whenever I will wrong her

Teach me how to ask for help and advice

Whenever I'm stuck or about to make a move

Teach me how to be the best man to her

To be the best husband if in Your will, we get married

To our baby, teach me how to parent

Teach me how to be a father

Teach me to do this always

To put and cement my trust in You

God teach me to be a man

Teach me how to pray

POEM BY DAYAN MASINDE

NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT LOVER

Your partner is not perfect, neither are you. 

If your partner was perfect, your partner won't need you; our inadequacies and want make us need each other.

Your partner has weaknesses because love is strength.

Your partner has flaws because love improves.

Your partner has shortcomings because love goes the distance.

Your partner will make mistakes because love corrects and in finding solutions two people become closer.

Too often we look for the end result, we look for perfection, a perfect partner. But love is actually walking with that imperfect partner to the desired end result. If your partner was fully established there would be nothing to build as a couple. Don't look at your partner's imperfections as excuses not to love, but as reasons to love, reasons to be of impact and use. 

Love makes us better, and as you make your partner better, as you refuse to give up on your partner but patiently understand your partner and see love as a continual process to become more; you will notice that even you are becoming a better person - Even you are not perfect, even you have areas that need improvement and you need someone to improve with you, you need someone to improve you.

Stop searching for a partner who is perfect, yet you are not perfect. Even your current greatest areas of success still have room for improvement, as long as you breathe, there's more ahead. Chances to grow.

Instead, search for someone who needs you and will keep needing you, someone who will keep you because you add value, someone who will say, "I am not letting you go because you make me better and I make you better." 

Love is when two imperfect people grow together!

by Dayan Masinde

Am I made for loving you?

That time when you find that exact song that describes your current mood...

Listen to it....

Sigh!

and your life goes on.

"I Was Made For Loving You"
(feat. Ed Sheeran)

[Tori Kelly:]
A dangerous plan, just this time
A stranger's hand clutched in mine
I'll take this chance, so call me blind
I've been waiting all my life
Please don't scar this young heart
Just take my hand

[Chorus - Tori Kelly:]
I was made for loving you
Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through
Every bone screaming I don't know what we should do
All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you

[Ed Sheeran:]
Hold me close through the night
Don't let me go, we'll be alright
Touch my soul and hold it tight
I've been waiting all my life
I won't scar your young heart
Just take my hand

[Chorus - Tori Kelly & Ed Sheeran:]
Cause I was made for loving you
Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through
Every bone screaming I don't know what we should do
All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you

Please don't go, I've been waiting so long
Oh, you don't even know me at all
But I was made for loving you

[Chorus - Tori Kelly & Ed Sheeran:]
I was made for loving you
Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through
Every bone screaming I don't know what we should do
All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you

Here's the song...

Love is...

I'm a sketch artist and it's about that time I strongly felt that I should give due credit to the cartoon comic strips that I grew up with... Growing up, I got to scroll through the Daily Nation newspaper and head straight to the Leisure section with the TV guide, crossword puzzle and my all time favorite, the Love is... comic strip. I'm estimating it was the 90s era, before Andy Capp took over with his antics and drinking buddies. Anyway, for those who do remember, newspapers were a luxury in most Kenyan households at some point before they spread everywhere. That time you had to wait for your parents to read and have to wait till they are done before you could get a chance to have a peak. To your disappointment, the crossword was already filled.... Yeah. I know. I was such a geek in my childhood. That's besides the point actually. With that I got to have an interest in the comic strip sections.

The Daily Nation newspapers had the Love is... strip on weekdays. At one point introduced Peanuts (Snoopy) while on the Sunday Nation paper still has the Popeye, Flash Gordon and The Phantom.... For those who don't read newspaper, the stories still are going on...

Popeye and eating spinach with his bulging funny 'muscles' and calves....

Though I sincerely got lost in the Flash Gordon story line and all that travelling between intergalactic worlds...

The Phantom just being the Ghost Who Walks...

Love is... comics. Just two simple characters showing us the simplest of feelings in this world. I did my research and found out that the cartoonist, Kim Casali, drew the cartoon strips for her husband. Quite the great and awe inspiring dedication from wife to husband....

The other good thing about the Love is... comics is that they were launched on 5th January 1970. My birthday is on 5th January. Y'all can start sending next year's gifts as early as now... All will be greatly appreciated...

Not a coincidence but don't you just love it when you know that your birthday coincides with the launch date of your favorite cartoon strip... Just a couple of years before I existed... I pay homage to this cartoon strip because it's the epitome of what we desire to have from a partner.

What better way than to have it done in simple cartoons that just express the deepest desires of our hearts. A cartoon that breaks down the Bible verse, 1 Corinthians 13:4- 8... I really wish I could put up all of the Love is... strips but that would be just an endless scrolling.

As a dedication to a true and dear psycho friend, Derry Ace, who is so obsessed with Snoopy. Here's a little something. So that you don't get to go after me later on for having not mentioned you... That 4 liter ice cream is still just mine. You have a cold. As God said we should share. You share the ice cream with lovely me and you keep the cold to yourself..... Hahahaha....

Hear what I'm not saying

Upon my strolls on some of the past readings I did, I stumbled upon this and I thought I would just share. Maybe help those who would want to be heard.

Don't be fooled by me.

Don't be fooled by the mask I wear.

For I wear a mask.

I wear a thousand masks.

Masks that I'm afraid to take off,

& none of them is me.

Pretending is an art

That is second nature with me,

But don't be fooled.

I give the impressions that I'm secure,

That all is sunny & unruffled with me.

Within as well as without.

That confidence is my name

& coolness is my game.

That the waters are calm

& I'm in command & I need no one.

But don't believe it. Please don't.

I idly chatter with you

In the suave tones of surface talk.

I tell you everything,

That's really nothing,

Nothing of what's really within me.

So when I'm going through my routine,

Don't be fooled by what I'm saying.

Please listen carefully

& try to hear what I'm not saying.

What I'd like to be able to say;

What for survival; I need to say

But I can't say.

I dislike the hiding.

Honestly I do.

I dislike the superficial phony games I'm playing.

I'd really like to be genuine,

Spontaneous & me;

But you have to help me.

By holding out your hand,

Even when that's the last thing

I seem to want or need.

Each time you're kind & gentle & encouraging,

Each time you try to understand

Because you really care,

My heart begins to grow wings.

Very small wings. Very feeble wings.

But wings.

With your sensitivity

& power of understanding,

I can make it.

You can breathe life into me.

It will not be easy for you.

A long conviction of worthlessness

Builds strong walls.

But love is stronger than walls,

& there in, lies my hope.

Beat down those walls,

With firm but gentle hands

For a child is very sensitive,

& I am a child.

Who am I?

You may wonder.

For I am every man,

Every woman,

Every child.

Every human you meet.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Strangers silently we passed.
Only to look behind
The other's head has also turned.
One beautiful smile from you,
Relieved my heart of grieve.

Like honey, you cover the lawn
fleeting beauty-
In the cool morning air.
Many are the times
I wish.
I wish I would have you for my own.

When I say to you,
I pause & wonder.
I stop & ponder.
If what I have to say,
Truly holds promise.

Words, they say
are lightning strokes.
The wise pause & wait.
Only that the desire in me
Overwhelms my heart.

In quiet urgency
I want to say.
In the least bit of words,
You are special to me.

You are charming.
You have a sense of humour.
You make my heart radiant with joy.
You are very beautiful.
I wish
I wish I would have you for my own.

Perhaps it's the beautiful smile,
Or maybe your eyes.
The casualness & the great personality.
I don't want to end up a love-lorn
That is why I wish you feel the same way....

Something unique for your big day

It's that time when age is catching up with you and you are still searching.... Yap! I'm there. It starts growing on you when all these hints keep flashing across your face or screens. Somehow good or bad, I am in the event decor business so being part and parcel of weddings is more of a monthly thing. Creating those precious memories for brides and grooms is no easy job, but someone has to do it.

At times we get to sit for the whole ceremony and that is when the reality hits you that you should walk down the aisle some time in the future. At times I'm grateful for no drama while dating but then just having someone to bug you daily or just be cheeky and goofy with is enough to take away a day's stresses. I know you're wondering if I'm now getting all sad about not being in a relationship but there's a point to it.

On my usual Facebook scroll (not much to read on FB), I stumbled upon some video and the link was just all too enticing to ignore. We all know the usual Kenyan wedding program during the reception...

Guests (invited and uninvited) arrive and have their food- at times the food isn't enough.

Entertainment goes on as some MC mumbles on some instructions- some poorly crafted jokes.

Bride and groom arrive and dancing with guests- usual wedding songs and dance styles.

Bridal party seat at the 'high table' (do they smoke weed here?)...

Entertainment goes on- usual Kayamba groups perform, some 'upcoming' unknown singer too.

Unsolicited speeches from those shoshos you never knew existed...

Gift Practicals- by this I mean the bride demonstrating how she will cook/ carry a kiondo. some have even had to show how they will lie on their matrimonial bed... PG13...

Bouquet toss- this is where all the madness begins.

Procedure:

1. The DJ puts the usual Beyonce song... All the single ladies... 

2. The brave ones step up and get ready for the toss. 

3. Remove your heels.

4. Try and foresee the best direction the bouquet will go.

5. Look for the light weight girl than you can easily push out of your way.

The bride then tosses the bouquet and the scramble and partition for the flowers begins. That lady you saw gracefully arrive, is now fighting for those few stems. It starts reminding you of a scene on National Geographic or Discovery channel as lions fight for a piece of flesh from the fresh catch. Weeeeeellllll...... It's about time that we changed the routine. 

It might be your big day but doing something unexpected as in the video below goes a long way to show love and friendship.

It's a video about some bride... yeah! That's too vague. What this bride does during her bouquet toss is what amazes me. Enjoy and brides- to- be, do take a hint.

Violence is not of love

""The worst regret we have in life is not the wrong things we did, but for the thousands of the right things we did for the wrong people."

I have just seen this post on my Facebook account and I resonate with it so much as I am living this day in, day out. I don't know how I can start to explain how crushing it is to end a relationship even when it was just not going forward. I hate it when I have to put a stop to something that was once good and later on went to bad and worse and worst in an instance.

I am not a perfect and yes, I am stubborn, at times bossy and strong- headed (if there's a word like that). I will speak out when I see him doing something wrong, I will pout when I just don't feel like talking to him, I will go from angry to somehow smiling to laughing my ass off in a split second. I am hard at times to understand and I will change my mind twice or thrice, faster than Cookie can slap her son(Hakeem).... yeah, I just had to use that example. I will always say "I'm fine" even when I want him to just ask what the hell is wrong with me.

Every girl, woman, sister or aunt will be like this but even when I make these mistakes that will anger him, I don't expect him to lay a finger on me. I don't expect to join the growing number of statistics about violence in relationships and marriages. I don't expect to be threatened. I don't expect to have a black eye as though I got hit by a runaway bus. I don't expect to carry scars on my body to forever remind me of the stupid decision I made. I don't expect to keep crying for having fallen in love with his charm, only for him to later show me his true colors.

I don't expect to sit in silence for fear of ridicule and reprimand, from family and friends, for having loved him. He hit me and I hit back. There was no way I would just sit and wait to be killed as I watched. I defended myself and even made my point. That I was no weakling."

Just as the poem in the picture above says, the cycle never stops and once it starts, it goes on as long as the two parties may want to end it. No man/woman ever gets into a relationship or marriage expecting any form of abuse. No one expects or wishes the worst for themselves but at times we have no control over a person's emotions or reactions in any situation. We can only control ourselves. We can only do whats best for ourselves and for the relationship.

Walk away from it. It may hurt, it may feel like you will never love again. You may feel like you are a victim. You are not. You are a lesson, to yourself and to others in your situation. That despite all that happens, you can rise up and walk again. You can get up and love again. You can love yourself for the next person you meet. Do not despair because you are still alive to learn from your mistakes.
Violence is not of love but respect, trust, truth honesty and faithfulness is.

Young adult in my life

There are the times when you sit and think and analyse your life and come to the conclusion that you need someone to talk to. Don't get me wrong, I would really want the services of a psychiatrist but when I just think of the hours, sessions and payments to be made... I would rather stick to looking for non- charging individuals (close friend, best friend, friend-who-has funny-and-witty-remarks) who might end up giving their opinions instead of listening.

Actually this is better than silence. Holding it all in and acting as though I have it all together is an act that I have never quite mastered to the core. I end up looking like an insomniac, depressed and about to quit on life. Not good! I start to think of how my life sucks and that nothing is really going to work out... I know, positive thoughts = positive results... But hey! am HUMAN. I can't help it if I sulk for a while just to get over the depressive feelings I have over my current situation. Don't deny it, you've been here, through this road... confused on a way forward.

Well, there is always an upside to whenever you feel this way. One unexpected person will always cheer you up... Even if it may be for a short while. In my case, it's the young adult in my life. Just at 2 years old and she has the angelic and psychic power to note when am not okay. We call her young adult as she behaves quite like an adult, despite her age. Being a young mum bestows a sense of responsibility upon you. Stereotyping of young mums, day- to- day challenges of being the 20 something (under 25) you are, relationships musings, employment things and general life; have a way of making you feel older than you actually are.

She then dashes in, screaming and laughing (not swoop in like Superman but with the terrible twos in tow), just to jump on you, calling you 'Mama, Mama' as she cradles your face in her tiny hands. Trying to talk and mumble some sentence but all you can get is 'pepeti', 'mamasos' and dodon'. Well, as time goes buy you get to learn this other language and translations being, spaghetti, tomato sauce and Nickelodeon (in that order). Quite the simplest way to say, "I want food and cartoons."

A smile comes to your face as you realise what she is trying to tell you. The joy it brings to a mother to see her daughter try to construct sentences or pronounce words, is satisfying to me. With that fleeting chance to have a smile and forget my troubles, I am just grateful to have my young adult. I just have to appreciate the good moments she brings and get back to yelling as she tries to climb the stairs or scroll my phone. Aiyaya!

Tears of love

Hi there,
I do love writing poems and most of which are about what am feeling at that exact moment of writing. I write what am feeling in my heart. In times when you feel you love somebody so much, one way or the other, you may find yourself shedding a tear or two for the person. I won't lie. I do that. So at one time when I did, I dedicated this poem to the person.............

A prayer to God, every time I say,
To help you and be with you.
In tears, I end up
Because I love you so much.
And the love overflows
Out through my tears, it pours.

Tears of love so overwhelming
Because I have been loved
And had the chance of loving back.

Tears of love ever so true
Because I always want to be with you.


Tears of love ever so special
Because you mean a lot to me.

Tears of love
That I would love to shed
For YOU!